Little Girl Lost and Found
by anathemaybe
Summary: Vignettes about Solona Amell's life. Begins with meeting Anders in the Circle, will probably go through the end of Awakenings. Amell/Anders, Amell/Cullen, eventual Amell/Alistair
1. Chapter 1

Solona leaned against the bookcase, comfortable despite the cold stone floor beneath her. The book she read was not academic, for once. It was one of the precious few romance books available in the circle. The templars didn't care about this sort of contraband, and so reading it gave her a little thrill of rebellion without the crushing fear of being punished. Reading about mages in love (the topic of any good romance novel) always made her toes curl – it happened so rarely in the circle. She felt as though it could be nothing but fiction.

A sudden jolt against the other side of the bookcase made Solona jump. She heard low murmurs coming through the books, frantic sounds of passion and a quiet rustle of robes. She stared at the bookcase for a moment, wondering if she shouldn't just walk away. But curiosity burned in her, and she rose, gently pulling one of the books out of the bookcase and peering through the hole.

She squeaked, surprised as her eyes met with amber ones. Solona flushed as the eyes crinkled – he was grinning at her – and she quickly put the book back, flustered. In order to get to the door, she'd need to walk past the alley between the bookcases where they were – she stopped there, frowning. Solona had never thought mages were supposed to… Well, she mused, it was clear that this was a stolen moment of passion. One that she was quite horrified to have accidentally intruded upon, even if the two had interrupted _her _quiet reading space.

As she continued to contemplate exactly how to escape this situation with her dignity in tact, she heard a man's voice offer a quick thanks and a sound of a single pair of footsteps walking away. Solona paused; perhaps she could stay and read, after all? That thought was ruined as the man turned the corner, and she instantly recognized him.

Anders.

He was a few years older than her, she was pretty sure. He'd been here since he was young; so young that she couldn't remember which of them had gotten to the circle first. Regardless, he had been a permanent fixture in her life, if only through stolen glances. He never really noticed her much. Jowan teased her about him every chance he got.

"Sorry about that," he said, grinning, and she noticed his earring, which she normally found stupid but now it did something funny to her insides and all she could do was clutch at the book and clear her throat and blush a deep red. "Didn't mean to interrupt your studying."

"I'm n-not…" Solona began, stopping to clear her throat so her voice could be heard. "Not studying, really. It's alright."

He surveyed her for a moment. "You've been here as long as me, haven't you, sweetheart?"

She blushed deeper at the pet name, knowing it meant nothing, it was just what he did, but still liking it. He grinned at her and she could feel the heat all the way up through her ears.

"What's your name?" he asked.

"S-solona," she murmured, finding her voice halfway through the word.

"Lona?" he asked, and she nodded, too shy to correct him. "I'm Anders," he said, and she thought _of course you're Anders, you're brilliant and rash and so heart-breakingly attractive_. "Pleasure, Lona."


	2. Chapter 2

Solona hated templars. _They _were the reason her home felt like a prison, after all, and she was quite convinced she could be content, were it not for the constantly watchful gaze of the men. And then, all of a sudden, she realized she didn't hate every single one of them. A new recruit so happened to be stationed outside her favorite library, and he _fascinated_ her. He didn't wear the scowl that was ever-present on every other templar's face. When he looked at her, he wasn't looking to see if she were a blood mage or a maleificar; he was simply watching _her_. It made her giddy and a little dizzy to think about. His reddish-blonde hair was curly, and she caught herself wondering what it would be like to run her fingers through it.

"I see the way you look at him," Anders muttered, as she and the young templar exchanged shy glances through the doorway.

"What do you mean?" she asked, ready to deny any baseless accusations. Sure, he was _pretty, _but she didn't even know his name, and the only other man she really found attractive made it quite clear he wasn't interested.

Said man told her, "You should stay away from him, Lona." She frowned. "You can't fall in love here. It gives them too much power, if they have something you can't stand to lose. Especially if that something is a bloody templar."

"That's not_ fair_," she protested, "I can enjoy looking at someone without it turning into love. Not all of us sleep around to hide the fact that we have feelings."

Anders bit his tongue trying to reign in a sharp response. They'd been having this conversation – or a very similar variant - almost constantly for months.

"Did you not hear me about the templar bit? You - Just… watch yourself," he finally replied, storming out of the library. _No doubt off to find someone just as stupid as him,_ she angrily thought. Solona turned her gaze back to the templar and flushed as she noticed him watching her in concern. _Maker's breath,_ she thought, biting her lip as she rose to talk to him. He would not leave his post to pursue her, but she could tell he wanted to say something. _I hope he didn't hear us._

"A-are you all right?" he asked. She was touched.

"I'm fine," she murmured, still a little angry with Anders. "He just can't keep his stupid nose out of things that don't concern him."

Through his blush, the templar smiled and teased, "Perhaps that's b-because it's so big."

Solona looked up at him in surprise and laughed, almost disbelieving that a templar could have such a good sense of humor. Still beaming, she held out a hand and said, "We've never been properly introduced. I'm Solona."

Face as red as his hair, he looked from her hand back to her eyes. Clearing this throat, he shook her hand. "C-c-cullen," he managed, and her smile widened. _Sod_ Anders; she liked this templar. Even if she knew they couldn't have anything more than shy glances and sparse conversation, she decided she didn't mind it at all.


	3. Chapter 3

Her eighteenth birthday had come and gone, and Solona still hadn't been harrowed. Normally she was a patient woman, but the only reason mages didn't receive a harrowing was because they were slated to be made Tranquil, and the thought made her blood run cold. Jowan tried to comfort her, console that he was a year older than her and still no harrowing, but instead of making her feel better, it only made her worry for him, too.

It was the first time in years she sought after Anders. After a month or two of close friendship, he distanced himself from her. A small, stupidly hopeful part of Solona wished it was because he cared about her. If there was thing Anders had made clear, it was his refusal to get too attached to any one or anything. Except his silly cat.

She found him, unsurprisingly, sprawled in a hidden corner of one of the lesser-used libraries. The templars rarely checked that spot, after all, and there was a window. Seeing outside was the closest thing Anders had to freedom while trapped in the tower.

"Hi," she said hesitantly.

"Lona," he greeted, sparing her a quick glance before continuing to scout out the window. She watched for a moment, almost managing a smile; he was clearly thinking about best escape routes. Apparently he was planning yet another excursion to the real world. The thought still couldn't dissuade her from the aching fear gnawing at her stomach.

"I'm scared," she finally whispered. The sound of tears in her voice made him turn back to her, frowning.

"What?" he asked. He apparently wasn't very good with women on the verge of tears.

"I should have been harrowed by now," she said, lip trembling as she tried to hold back her emotion. "They must be planning on making me tranquil, and that's why I haven't had to do it yet."

The concern in his eyes almost shocked her; Anders didn't do concern, or love, or any other tender emotion. She began to cry in earnest, trying to stifle her sobs so as not to draw the templars' attention.

Anders walked over to her and pulled her close. He pet her hair, murmuring soft words of comfort to her. When she finally calmed down, he moved her back just far enough so she could meet his gaze.

"They'd never make you tranquil, Amell. You're too bloody good at what you do. Look at me, I've escaped five times and I'm still here." She then smiled, and his face softened. "It's hard, waiting to be harrowed. But you'll be brilliant." Solona sniffled.

"Are you sure?" she asked, voice quite and tearful, edged with hope. She never knew what exactly made him do it; honestly, she didn't care. Anders brought a hand up to cup her cheek, thumb tenderly wiping away a tear as he leaned down and kissed her. Solona tried not to act too surprised as she wrapped her arms around his neck and softly kissed him back. When she imagined kissing Anders, she thought it would be quick, rough; just like one of the tumbles he had with most of the other circle mages. Instead, it was soft and sweet. Solona, reaching up to tug his hair out of that stupid ponytail so she could run her fingers through it and felt him smile into the kiss. All thoughts of her harrowing were gone as he gently nipped her bottom lip.

Briefly, she wondered what in the world it would mean for the two of them but, for the moment, she didn't care. After what felt like an eternity and yet far too soon, he pulled back, and she was surprised to see him flustered. It made her giggle.

"Right," he said, clearing his throat and trying to maintain his self-control. "You should get off to bed. Don't want to get caught out after hours."

Solona smiled shyly, unsure of what to say. After a moment, he added, "I'll walk you, if you'd like." She nodded, and he took her hand as though it were the most natural thing in the world, leading her back to her dorm. He gave her another, much shorter, kiss goodnight at the door.

He escaped for the sixth time that night.


	4. Chapter 4

_I'm not normally one for author's notes, but I really wanted to thank Obscura Wilde for the reviews. I haven't written fic in years, so the encouragement is really great. Thank you so much!_

Anders' sixth escape and Solona's first kiss both happened a week before her harrowing. Each day she waited to see him again, half hoping the templars would drag him back by the scruff of his neck, and half hoping that he finally made it to freedom. It was silly of her, to hope for either. Even sillier for her to wonder why he hadn't tried to bring her with him, or if he had only kissed her because he knew he finally had the perfect escape.

Still, his latest escape got her to thinking. They hadn't _really_ been friends. Anders refused to let her get close enough that she could qualify their relationship as such, but they had grown to be at least _friendly_. Sometimes, after being released from solitary confinement caused by his latest outing, he would find her and excitedly tell her about what the outside world was like. Mostly brown, and smelling of wet dog – in her mind, Solona always imagined it was a pleasant smell, despite Anders's over-exaggeration about the awfulness - but he got most excited about the stars. They looked amazing when you could see the whole sky at once, he promised her. Freedom was the only thing she'd ever seen him passionate about (or at least _not_ snarky), and she'd always watch him prattle on fondly, happy that he could share at least this with her.

Part of her felt as though she wouldn't see him again. She couldn't know it for a fact, of course, but she had a sick feeling something was going to go wrong, even if she had exposed Joawn's plan to the first enchanter. The unpleasant thought of her best friend being made Tranquil threw her out of her reverie and back into the present. Solona's mind had been on autopilot as she stalked through the storage room, praying that each spider she saw would be her last. She had a terrible case of arachnophobia, and the only thing that kept her going through those awful cobwebs was the knowledge she was helping her best friend. She took a deep breath, trying to think about something more pleasant than giant eyes and hairy fangs to finish out her little trek and finally decided on the time she visited Anders after his fifth escape.

Solona had _begged_ the first enchanter to give her permission to see Anders. This time he earned himself a full month, locked up alone like an animal, and not being allowed to see anyone other than a mean templar would be enough to drive anyone mad. Or so she said, in her impassioned plea to see him. Irving seemed completely deaf to her petitions, until she pouted like a child. He frowned, and she realized she had an ace in the hole. Solona was very good at fake crying. Her eyes began to water and he stepped back, his own eyes widening in concern. Then her lower lip began to tremble, and he quickly relented, awkwardly putting his hands up and giving her a placating, "Ten minutes, Solona." She thanked him profusely over her shoulder as she rushed off, trying to make sure the silly cat she was hiding in her robes remained as still and quiet as possible.

When he realized it was her and not a templar, Anders fixed her with a look that made her feel like she was the last woman in Thedas. Her stomach fluttered and she tried to ignore it. Solona smiled, gingerly holding Anders's favorite mouser up so Anders could see him. "He missed you," she said, handing the kitten to Anders through the bars. "Kept meowing so pitifully when he couldn't find you…"

"Mister Wiggums," Anders crooned delightedly, and Solona giggled, "You shouldn't be worrying about me, sweetheart, you have mice to eat and templars to harass!" The cat meowed in response, and Anders held it against his chest, gently scratching behind the ears. Solona sat just outside the bars, expectantly waiting for more escape stories, and Anders mirrored her position inside the cell. After a moment of petting the cat, he looked into her eyes and thanked her so sincerely she couldn't stop the look of surprise on her face. Anders laughed. "You know, Solona," he said, eyes crinkled in good humor, "no one's ever thought to visit me before. Bringing me cats and company… a man might start to think you wanted a favor." Solona shrugged, not wanting to tell him why she came as she asked shyly, "So where did you stay? You were gone longer than normal."

Cat in his lap and as content as she had ever seen him in the tower, Anders regaled her with the tale of how he was mistaken for a worker of a nearby brothel and managed to keep a room there for a week before anyone realized he wasn't taking customers. The memory of it still made her giggle, drawing her a stern glare from the senior enchanter whose name she had already forgotten.

"Is that all?" she asked, and Solona nodded and thanked her as she ran off to get the fire rod. The Tranquil unnerved her, but she still smiled and thanked him as she tucked away the rod of fire and headed back to Jowan and Lily for their ill-fated escape.

Solona wondered if Anders smashed his phylactery before he left. If he had, it probably meant he was gone forever. But if he hadn't…. It took the three of them to get into the hold, and that alone was enough to convince her that Anders couldn't have done it on his own. She made a resolve that, if they hadn't already sent his phylactery to Denerim, she'd find it for him and smash it. She was already complicit in helping a rumored blood mage escape; it wasn't as though helping Anders could be much worse. What would he do, spirit heal people to death?

It turned out to be a moot point anyway, as she couldn't find his phylactery. She had tried, so hard, but they hadn't had the time. And then, of _course_, everything had gone to pieces when it turned out that Jowan actually was a blood mage, and some small part of her couldn't help but be glad that he at least wouldn't be made Tranquil because of her.

When Duncan asked to recruit her she went gladly, feeling a strange sort of numbness at not knowing how this had all happened so fast. She didn't know what being a Grey Warden was like, but it had to be better than this.


End file.
